Do good, feel good

Friends,

I’d like to recommend a few ways you may be able to perk up by supporting others. While there are options for support through $$$, support by sharing/promotion/sending love are just as important! I know not everyone has $$ to share right now.

ALLISON’S RECOMMENDATIONS FOR SUPPORTING NEIGHBORS:

• UNCHARTED BOOKS: https://www.unchartedbooks.com/
  This rad independent bookstore located in Chicago is run by my redheaded chum Tanner, with lots of support from his partner Rachel and dog Ramona! Peruse the digital storefront or be DELIGHTED by a subscription to the Substack. A subscription will guarantee you TOP NOTCH RAMONA THE DOG CONTENT. Do it. Or follow/like/share.
  Instagram: @UnchartedBooks
  Tweeters: @UnchartedBooks
  Facebooks: @UnchartedBooks
• JOSH OPTICAL/GUITARS RUIN LIVES:
  Josh is a guitarist’s guitarist. He is adept at so many styles and knows so much about music that I can’t even. His soul-touching, bone-rattling, face-melting AND foot-tapping performances have all been cancelled, so check him out on the interwebs and throw him a like, comment, share, or buck.
  Instagram: @guitarsruinlives or @joshoptical
  YouTube: @guitarsruinlives
  Facebooks: @guitarsruinlives
  I hear he’s also on the TIK TOK @joshoptical but I haven’t been there yet.
• Support your favorite 3 restaurants by ordering pickup/delivery, buying a gift card, or promoting them on social media. Masala Story is still open in DC and I’ll be ordering from Huacatay as soon as it re-opens! Already ordered Jackie Lees and Menomale!
• Support your local brewery/distillery or coffee shop. I’ve been impressed with DC’s Cotton & Reed‘s work to make hand sanitizer AND rum, available for purchase and pickup at their storefront window. Right now we can safely buy Zeke’s Coffee at the local farmer’s market, but they are also selling growlers, bags, and gift cards online! I may stock up…
• Support your local food pantry. Monetary donations may be the most helpful right now! If you’re looking for a place to donate OR if you need food, see https://www.feedingamerica.org/ and type in your ZIP code. In the DC area I recommend Martha’s Table. You can also look at Meals on Wheels or food services for schoolchildren.
• Support your neighbors who are entangled in the criminal justice system. TWO POINT THREE MILLION (2,300,000) people are incarcerated in the United States right now. All of them are at a very high risk of death from COVID-19. More than half a million are being held pre-trial, meaning they have not been convicted of any crime. Some are being detained because of racist immigration policies–cut off from family and society for months without a hearing. Whatever your opinions of criminal justice in the United States, the FACT is that detention facilities are public health risks to all who work, visit, and live there. Reducing the prison and jail population will save at least THOUSANDS OF LIVES. Make a call today to demand decarceration AND immediate steps to protect the health of those who are in facilities. Not sure if it’s that bad? Read this piece in WaPo with a report from one of my spouse’s colleagues (PDF here if you hit a paywall)–content warning–very disturbing.
  • In DC call Mayor Bowser at 202-727-2643 and Attorney General Karl Racine at 202-727-3400. You can find a script and social media posts to share at bit.ly/releasethemalldc
  • Elsewhere use this page from The Justice Collaborative--scroll down to Resources-Taking Action to find guidance on who to contact, how to contact them, and what to ask for.
• Support your neighbors who need financial help. Do you have a relief check coming from the government but you can make ends meet without it? Consider donating part or all of it through the #ShareMyCheck or #ShareMyCheckDMV campaigns. A couple suggestions:
  • Give to the M4BL (Movement For Black Lives) Money Pot to support organizers doing front line mutual aid and organizing work in the DC area.
  • Support immigrant families in the DMV who aren’t eligible for assistance because they don’t have a SSN–even if they are documented.
  • See Sharemycheck.org for more ideas and to take the pledge!
  • Share this with your friends and family!

Hope you find ways to do good and feel good in this difficult time. Comment with YOUR #ShareMyCheck suggestions/favorite artists/ local businesses/ nonprofits to support.

You Can’t Stop the Beat

Just going to leave these here:

Visit this IG account to learn about regularly scheduled dance parties! Join others around the world in dance from a safe distance! https://www.instagram.com/socialdisdanceparty/

Day 21

It has been 21 days since I decided to limit my ventures into the outside world. No public transit since March 2. One restaurant outing on March 6 and one SURJ DC meet up March 7. I didn’t touch anyone at either and sanitized my hands several times. Small gatherings of 2-3 friends were a blessing. Starting last Wednesday the 18th, W and I decided to actually quarantine with only dog walks and outings in nature. Every day for several days there was a new person working with or near him who was experiencing symptoms or had come in touch with someone who tested positive. It seemed best to act like he was infected and wait the 14 days.

Staying 6 feet away from one’s spouse is never easy but the real hardship was cancelling our trip to NC to celebrate birthdays and also grieve the death of W’s grandmother. We are lucky enough to miss our family members dearly, to want to see them and spend time with them in joy and sorrow. But according to blood tests 3 years ago and more recent anecdotal evidence, I am still immunodeficient. We have family members and friends in at-risk categories. And we are public-health conscious people. So here we are at home. Fortunately we have had some practice due to surgeries and illnesses during our marriage that required us to be home together for extended periods. Fortunately we both have jobs we can do from home (and understanding colleagues who have helped ensure W can stay at home and keep me safe). So many things to be grateful for.

One of the best: being quarantined with an amazing chef. I’d share more photos but I’ve eaten most of the evidence.

Homemade bread

Perfect omelette

Look who's back…

It’s been more than six years since my last post on this blog and here I am again… writing in a time where it feels we desperately need joy and connection. Instagram and Facebook feel both limiting and overwhelming at times. I don’t want to add to the noise or contribute only to find myself scrolling and scrolling….

I hope you’ll feel welcome to join me in this space to stop and appreciate moments big and small that bring joy, comfort, hope, or care as we take this life one step at a time.

Photo of W, Wally and I taking a socially distanced walk in the neighborhood. The cherry blossoms still bloomed. We are still here.

Photo: Allison, her partner W, and their dog Wally pose for a selfie. W and Wally are 10 feet behind Allison and a row of blossoming cherry trees fill the background.

Moment: Balloons

A couple weeks ago, as I was driving through my apartment complex, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. There was a man around my age sitting on a picnic table by himself, holding over a dozen red and white balloons. He seemed to be waiting.

After I parked and unloaded my car, I glanced back over my shoulder to see if he was still there. He had been joined by a woman and they were hugging–embracing with such intimacy and wholeheartedness that I  looked away so as not to interfere.

Congratulations. I’m sorry. We’ll get through this together. Happy Friday. I love you.

Whatever the message, that display of vulnerability and love will stick with me.

Reflections on Advent

I am home sick today (just a cold I think) and it’s rainy and gray outside. What a perfect day to resurrect the joy blog!

I have to thank a new friend for reminding me that I DO have a blog, it is about JOY, and it IS a worthy undertaking both as a practice for myself and as a celebration of the love and community that I hold so dear (that’s YOU!).

In my religious/spiritual tradition, this time of year is Advent, the 28 days before Christmas that are a time of waiting, yearning, and hope for a promise to be fulfilled–a promise of peace, justice, healing, wholeness: God dwelling with us. No matter what religious or spiritual tradition, I think most folks can identify with such a feeling.

Some of this yearning and expectancy is deeply personal: Someone dear to me had a bone marrow biopsy today and has to wait two days to find out if the leukemia is the same or if it has by miracle gone into remission. A couple is expecting a baby but waiting until the trimester mark to make an announcement. One of my friends is waiting to see if a relationship leads to lifelong partnership, another is waiting to know where she’ll be living this time next year. I am waiting for clarity about my job situation, among other things.

Other hope and yearning is communal, political, social: We wait for peace talks and nuclear treaties to come to fruition. We wonder if this country will ever be safe for black men, trans folks, or women. Will our state lawmakers see the damage done by cutting unemployment benefits, denying the expansion of medicaid, and limiting women’s healthcare resources? Will they change their hearts? Will rich and poor, sick and well, cis and trans, citizen and undocumented ever be valued with the same dignity and wholeness? How do I stop reinforcing a hierarchy of oppression and start acting like my liberation is bound with yours? I hope there will come a time when capitalism, poverty, or the fear of poverty does not dictate our wellbeing, decisions, and opportunities. I hope we will take action to preserve our planet and its inhabitants for future generations.

One thing about waiting and expectation is that it need not be passive. In both the Advent and the Lenten seasons there is a message of preparation. Whether we’re waiting for a baby, a cure, or a cultural shift, there are preparations to make. We have to prepare ourselves, our homes, our hearts, our communities; make plan A and plan B; speak out; and ask ourselves difficult questions–like what we are willing to do to bring about god with us, a new way, a promise of justice and wholeness? What are we going to offer each other? What are we going to give ourselves and ask of others?

In all this longing, there is fear, and hope, and belief. Fear that we may not be capable, fear that it will take a long time, hope that better times are ahead, hope that we will find healing in one form or another, and belief that love is alive and the promise of justice, peace, healing, joy, grace, and redemption is worth working toward and trusting.

If music and Advent speak to you, check out this project by two seminary grads “rooted in our Presbyterian tradition and also deeply committed to a pluralist, open worldview”: http://adventmusicproject.blogspot.com/

I have a lot of joy to share. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading.

For my friends

Today, as  on many days, I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for the richness of friendship, how it is almost overwhelming in its capacity to make any day a triumphant and celebratory day, to make all the shattered bits of me feel whole and warm and good.

For N & K
by Gina Myers
Otis on vinyl carries from the barn. Blessed is this day. The camera captures us youthful & triumphant. Blessed be this day, a celebration of friends coming together. Last night, surrounded by those I love, I had wanted to read Berrigan’s “Words For Love,” but I didn’t want to say the heart breaks, even though I know it’s true & the breaking can be a good thing sometimes, like the way my heart shatters a little each time I think of my friends & how lucky in life I’ve been to get to know them, to have had the time to laugh & drink & dance & to argue & feel hurt too. How can one possibly say everything that should be said? These feelings just feelings, not defined by words. To be overwhelmed, caught in a whirlwind & up to one’s ankles in the creek as lightning bugs polka-dot the sky & Otis, again Otis, always Otis in my memory, provides the soundtrack. Not every day can be a good day but this is one of them, one of the best days.

Thanks for being part of this new year

The Year 

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 

What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That’s not been said a thousand times?

The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.

We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.

We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.

We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our brides, we sheet our dead.

We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that’s the burden of the year.

dance with it

Friends in joy,

The blog, along with other writing and activities, has been a balloon I could not catch. But I am here! And I am ready to tell you about joy. For example, over the course of the past few days, I saw picture of my niece in a flower costume; spent time with my friend Steph over pizza, pumpkin beer, and Best Exotic Marigold Hotel; saw the trees changing colors; went to the state fair, ate funnel cake, and rode the ferris wheel with two of my best friends; baked cupcakes; found out that my friend Bee got a job; cuddled with my parents’ dog Lucky; watched a classic movie with my parents; got the dishes clean; colored pictures of pumpkins and got a real pumpkin for my doorstep; had a kind and affirming email exchange with a professor; and met friends for a breakfast of grits, eggs, and blueberry pancakes. Life is good.

Life is beautiful and cruel sometimes, too. It’s a struggle to walk in the world with outward joy when it is grief that greets me in the morning or late at night or in the quiet moments of the day. But I do not think that joy comes from pushing away the other emotions and experiences of life–I have to believe it comes when we embrace everything and try our best to share it all and dance with it all. I am fortunate to have friends and family who love and support me through that process. I have had a little time to do things like bake and watch comforting TV shows. I have a big window in my room that looks out into the trees. I am able to give and receive love.

Yesterday I put in my Indigo Girls All That We Let In CD. It was right for the day. I couldn’t find a link to the song “Rise Up,” but that one spoke to me: Rise up your dead/You remember there’s more than this/ There always was and always is…/ Call me up for tickets, we’ll go see Sugarland/ And it gets better even when it’s been a drag/ Just move to the music, move your body to the band and/ Rise up…

Here’s to poems, songs, cupcakes, showers of love in the many forms they take, and the courage to rise up each day and dance with whatever it is we have to dance with. Love and peace to you, my friends.

Love & Understanding

He who loves
understands,
and she who understands
loves.
One who feels understood
feels loved
and one who feels loved
feels sure
of being understood.

-Paul Tournier